MAking it easy...haha

Haiz after much thoughts...i decided to post my entries in a more understandable manner...but i have to admit my english sucks,...so if should there be any grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes...pls pls forgive me..pity me...( haha as if anyone cares abt writing proper english in blogs)..

It's been quite a long time since i posted new entries....i would really like to note down the events of my life in a daily basis..but i guess its quite difficult...sometimes perhaps im a little(really little) lazy or i have truly no mood to pen it down at all.

Time really flies...i mean they do...you cant see them at all...but u can feel them...every time i glance at my watch..the number changes and so do time. People cant control time...all they can do is to make every second a fruitful one...be it walking along a path in a park and admiring the little movements of branches and leaves with the ongoing breeze or taking time off to help or care for those people in need. I know the way i phrase it might sound quite zen haha but thats the way it is.

Every time, i lift my head up and look at things around me, people around me...i realise so much have changed. Others did, but i dunno if i did?...i admit im a boring person.....haha i seldom do things on my own i guess....i feel lonely very easily....but i will usually deny it.

Life in green really totally changed my life... i see things at a much bigger picture now. I see how people can be so selfish and self-centered for their own survival; I see how some of them are willing to help others without asking anything in return ;I see how some of them can truly be ur friend how some of them can only be remained as acquaintance; I see how things can only revolve around a protocol and not being able to flex a little when things realli turn out bad ; I see how things are all about pushing blames : I see how things are inseparable from money.

Haha sounds depressing?...Nah.. the joy in all this is how u twist and turn with all these loopholes..try to see things one at a time and not straight ahead to ord...it will make ur life slightly better....I always thought im different....i dun noe why...but frankly speaking..im not...i feel tired at times..i feel lost all the time...i feel happy, sad, lonely at times...

actually everyday in my life..i hope i could live an exciting one....(of cos when im not wearing green)...i realise everyday in my life...i worry for others...i think of others....but im not doing that for myself....the only reason i can think of is that ...Im not worthy for...actually to a certain extent i hate myself for being who i am in the past....but what is past has passed....why brood over it....

Perhaps now im just waiting ba..waiting for someone who can light up my life...someone who brings smiles and laughters....lovely memories....I''' ll wait....hopefully till that day comes

Dreams?

Every time I open my arms,

I feel the gentle brush of breeze,

On my cheeks,

Against my palms.

The loose flaps of my shirt sing in sync with the howling of the passing wind.

Everyday I wish for the day to come,

The day filled with creamy white fluffy clouds that are imprinted on the clear flat azure blue skies,

The day that hosts the recitals of the crickets in the open plains,

The day when I could just freely hop onto piles of dried brown leaves,

The day where butterflies put on their best costumes personifying the characters from the ballet masterpiece "Swan Lake".

Everyone,

I bet,

At certain periods of their life,

Hope to soar up high in the skies,

Hope to lay upon soft carpet of grass and enjoy the graceful sight of passing clouds that might sometime take the forms of our favourite cartoon characters.

But once again...

Every time,

Everyday,

My dreams seemed to drift further,

I felt as though every moment I try to reach further,

I will lose my balance and fall back to square one.

I do not know when is the best time to let go,

When is the best time to grab tightly,

Until now.... I'm still pondering....