HAppy posts

OMG...Dust dust dust everywhere....

hahah i guess is kinda outdated to post something in blog...but i guess mmm...i can treat it as a garbage bin for rubbish thoughts..

recently i seemed to have lost track of time...or maybe i didnt want to keep track of time....

holidays...the time permitted for me to catch up on stuffs that i have lost during school terms..

the time for me rest my body...rest my mind...and to gear up for the next battle...

even though i strongly believed in that...it had never happened to me...haha...

i actualy do feel stress without a day of planning...without deadlines...it just feels that as though time has gone to waste...not every bit of the second is put to good use....wasting my life staring in front of the computer..watching shows after shows...playing pokemon after pokemon...eating after eating...sleeping after sleeping.

many things had happened lately....until im not sure what my emotions are....it feels like....a mesh up lump of stones in my chest area...haha..i dunno whether its good or bad

bad is because i dunno what am i doing

good is because i dunno what am i doing

( i used to set up barriers to hide the true emotions) ( so unless u are some superhuman that could read peoples mind.. practically nobody knows me )

but wat lies underneath these facades are what man really needs....which i think most of us are seriously lacking in....the idea of genuinity is diminishing...

as human interaction gets lesser...with the presence of "high tech gadgets" the skill of masking totally rule the world now...haha

...sometimes you really do not know the hidden emotions behind whatever the person is typing..

maybe they can go... ohoh please take good care of yourself (like i would be bothered with you )

its quite scary though.

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sometimes its just a mere distance away

i tried to take a few steps

thought you were close

but i felt i am not

then backed a few steps back again

back to square one

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sometimes i thought efforts are enough

i tried to put in more

thought u were close

but felt that i needed more

then backed a few steps back again

back to square one

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anticipation and waiting

day to day

messaging and sharing

is like a must

i'll feel weird without one

what about you?

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tidal waves came one after another

your smile on the face went along with it

when is the sunny smile and laughter ever gonna rise again?

helplessness as i may feel.. all i could do is to make u laugh

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i thought i did enough

but i questioned again did i?

but i questioned again should i?

time will never stop for me to wait and think

but i chose to wait

afraid that what i think wasnt what i think

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forgive and pardon for my timidness

as assumptions and guesses clouded everything..

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it has been 6 years...haha everything comes and go....as if it is meant to be

as much i had disembarked away from this journey...i still made my way back

im just afraid that it had became a habit

something that might make me make the wrong decision

but life is all about trial and error isnt it? haha

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time will come if it is meant to be...

but it will also end if it is meant to be....

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people talk about grabbing oportunities....hahah im really bad in that.....i will just turn my back around and say its ok.....i might be searching for excuses...for i may not be able to fufil any promises...or maybe im really hard on myself again...

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just like the hands on the clock face, when will ever both hands meet? it would only be a mere min..once its gone, i will have to wait again...hahaha but i dunno whether its worth waiting for.. :)